Our sexuality today is becoming more and more complex, and concepts of gender are evolving. Gender-neutral sex is an approach to intimate interaction where the focus is on personal preferences, comfort, and pleasure rather than on gender roles – and we are all inclusive here, babes. Whatever your and your partner’s gender, the goal is to have fun.
Technically, it’s not. It’s two (or sometimes more) consenting adults doing whatever they feel comfortable with, and there is sometimes an intention to make someone come. That’s it. But cis people are so obsessed with how gender roles are connected to sexual practices – like topping or bottoming, dominating and submitting – that it somehow becomes a gender display? IDK.
The thing is that none of these things are inherently “for queer people only.” They are for couples who know how to enjoy each other without boundaries.
None of these are actually sex, but all of them create an inviting atmosphere for the two of you to take the plunge.
Give each other the chance to explore your partner’s body without being confined to traditional ideas of sexuality. Let it be a game without rules, where every step is a discovery. You can even do it literally, by drawing a treasure map on your naked body.
Nothing brings people closer than touch. An erotic massage with natural oils can be a perfect start to a deeper dive into pleasure. Forget about time and focus on sensations.
Taking a bath together is the ideal way to relax and set the mood for intimacy – very sensual. Add aromatic oils or bubbles, dim the lights, and let everything else become an extension of this sensual atmosphere.
Try swapping roles and experience something new. Assume a sexy character and torment your lover or put on a show for them – remember that it’s okay to feel awkward and giggle. Because sex is supposed to be fun.
Before or after intimacy, try meditating or doing breathing exercises together. This will help you connect on a deeper level and relax – you can even practice some form of tantra.
Choose lubes that work for all kinds of interactions, regardless of gender or sexual identity. Who needs a “prolonging” lube when it’s just a plain old desensitizing lube? Or a “clit arousal gel” – it’s just a sexist marketing name for a warming lubricant.
For those who enjoy experiments, light bondage can be an exciting addition to your intimate life. Use soft ties or silk ribbons to add an element of play and deepen your trust bond.
Whether you’re doing long distance or one of you simply goes to the office while another stays home for work, virtual dates can be a great way to maintain closeness. Share fantasies, discuss desires, and keep the emotional connection strong. Just maybe don’t get naked in an office. Maybe.
If you’re new to sex toys, start with something simple and universal that suits both partners. It could be a small vibrator or a massager that’s easy to use and enjoy together – like the simplest finger vibe that is basically like a super suit for your finger.
Let go of rules and allow your imagination to run wild. Sex isn’t just about the physical; it’s about emotional connection, too. You can:
This position can become a symbol of support and understanding. You can feel each other without looking into each other’s eyes, yet still be incredibly close.
Say nice things to each other and offer encouragement during sex. Not necessarily in a “good girl” type of way, but simply complementing your partner will really boost their confidence, especially if they ave gender dysphoria. This not only strengthens the bond but also makes the process more emotionally rich.
Sometimes, the best thing to do after sex is simply to relax and fall asleep together. This creates a sense of security and satisfaction.
And you already know who’s going to be the small spoon and who’s the big spoon – and it has nothing to do with gender, thank you very much.
Why not be wild and fierce and dance naked? Dancing is a great way to heat things up and get closer – becuase there’s a reason they say sex is a horizontal tango.
Here are a few universal and gender-neutral toys that are perfect for queer couples.
Universal Vibrators And Stimulators
Things like wand vibrators, finger vibrators, and nipple vibrators – these toys are suitable for any combination and help create equal opportunities for pleasure.
Gender-Neutral Masturbators
You’d be surprised, but there is a whole subgenre of sex toys for men that aren’t shaped like “kitties”! For example, auto masturbators can be very sci-fi looking, as if you’re having fun on a spaceship.
Bondage and Light Play Accessories
I mean, a blindfold and a little light flogger are always welcome additions. Light bondage, too, can be an exciting element of play, adding sensuality and intrigue.
Gender-Neutral Sex Is A Space For Self-Exploration And Mutual Respect
Gender-neutral sex isn’t just about physical pleasure; it’s about emotional closeness and respect. By creating a space free from stereotypes, we open up new possibilities for pleasure and understanding each other.
Enjoying each other, enjoying ourselves – that’s what sex should be all about, and who’s topping or who’s bottoming has nothing to do with one’s gender. Just enjoy.